Cordelia it is

....
"Sometimes I regret it when I being open up to someone, you know?"
"Then why did you?"
"I dont know, maybe I feel like that person can be trusted or maybe deep down I want that person to be someone special whom I can trust??"
"How do you even define someone's trustworthy in the first place?"
"Well I don't know"
"Okay you dont know, that's stupid."
"Maybe I am?"
"You definitely are."
"Have you ever felt like you know a person's about to be someone special to you?"
"Like what?"
"Never mind."
"Ok you weird."
"Thanks, Ok random question, what's your fav season?"
"Winter, you?"
"Fall."
"Why?"
"I dont know, maybe cuz it has something to do with falling in love like love love. You know what I mean?"
"Hm maybe yes maybe no i dont know"
"What's love exactly, anyway?"
"Idk my mama never told me also it's a lie I think"
"Why'd you think like that?"
"Idk cuz people change, feeling fades????"
"Interesting, never thought that way."
"Then how you define about it?"
"Well one thing I know, it's gonna break you at some point."
"Which point?"
"Idk dont ask me."
"Is it like what people said as broken heart?"
"Maybe."
"Idk either."
"Anyway, can someone unlove someone?"
"Maybe yes maybe no, idk."
"Ok."
"Ok."
"But u know u can't forget someone, right?"
"I do."
"Why can't we?"
"Idk maybe cuz memories stay and people don't?"

"So anyway, how do they call you?"
"It's Cordelia. What's your name?"
"I don't have a name."


P.s. it's from Cordelia PoV anyway:) also about the other character's name, it's your guess haha

A Lil Note to My Fellow 2-08

You still dream about the people lost in your memory and fabricated by your nostalgia and romantisized by your broken heart.

Time flies, people move, and wound heals.

As a human being, there's this cycle that we'll always fall back in over and over again, yea what else it could be? Hello and goodbye. meeting new friends is the new beginning and indeed there will come a time where we should say good bye. As I grow up I realize there's this thing we should good at, move on and start over, no matter how tight u hold this second, this hour, time will leave, eventually. And all u got is memories:) also time's tricky, when u suffer it feels like an eternity but when u all happy and settle it just feels like pufffff and gone, like a second. "Ok this dude is all happy, let's make it quick." -time

Hello and good bye, such a couple of word that conflict me over times, and sometimes failed me cuz Im just not good at it. Also Im that kind of person who like to torture myself by living my nostalgic memories that often.
I love bringing good old memories back, calling them and living upon it under my fragile INFP-self. Cuz there were just lot of memories that I didn't want to end. Starting my uni days with you guys was one of them.
Back then I had none, also Im socially awkward, shy, weird, some may call me ansos:) cuz Im not so good at socializing. Actually that's not completely true tho, cuz if u know me you would know that I talk a lot hehe. Also I would tell you things very randomly and pretty much nonsense stuff like how come camels end up in Saharan Desert and how Dinosaurs end up dead and not survive when a big bad meteor hit earth and how we end up call this very Earth, Earth lmao
ok thats enough. Before I go too far and annoyed u. Well I guess u already are hehe #maap
so today Im about to pay my debt cuz I owe a farewell speech also it's been a half of a semester. And oh HOW'S UTS?:)))) H3H3H3 PLS DON'T EVEN ASK!!!!!!!

Ok may the speech begin. 

Well, shall I make it formal like a proper speech???? Ok let just cut to the chase, first of all Im grateful of knowing such kind, loving, and caring creatures like you guys. I really am. We were all like a lost kid, far from home, tryna to live this thug life, but we found each other. We fixed each other. 
I never thought college days would be that hard (well it is that hard) till I met you and heard all those nonsense jokes of yours was one thing that I needed #ea #gombal #katakatamutiara.
Sharing assignment was my fav part of our days haha cuz I was that lazy of doing homework and stuff. Some of you fought We fought sometimes (q sih g y cuz q tyda pny power dan lemah wk) but somehow that what makes us, us #ea #gombal #lagi but that was funny anyway watching us having arguments and mocking each other haha let's make some more, eh? 

So here's a lil word of mine to u guys

To:
Adis: another version of my mama cuz ur words somehow reliefing lol. Also, even if we failed we still got love to give:)

Adit: ur english's superb bro. I salute u! 

Tiara: ur smart, don't let yourself think otherwise

Iyas: i like it better when u wear ur glasses hehe. U look cute

Yana: the person I shared my KAI access account with lmao dude my trip history is all Poncol-Bojonegoro also don't worry of not having a boyfriend, you'll find one, eventually lol.

Asti: the Buna of my xabiruness

Liana: I hope u to find ur other half vvvv soon cuz u look melas of not having a bf=))

Barok: PLS STOP ANNOYS THE CRAP OUTTA ME!!!!! GO AWAY!!! U pain in the ass.

Fadil: thanks bro for tutoring us for free. May u get all the things u want in life

Dimas: there's a lot of cool chicks out there, choose ur lover wisely!

Satrio: always keep that medok accent of urs lol. 

Angel: keep being an angel:) loving, caring, and accounting?????? wkwk

Raihan: u cute smol bean keep it up and reach up high:) luv u always

Debby: keep up that work hard you've been doing! May God make it all good.

Rotua: I need u to tell me on how to always getting accepted in applying events???!!!

Yuli: don't let others bring u down! Also please do send some foods to my kos:)

Alda: please wear ur sock! I'll buy u some if u dont have any:)

Saskia: thanks for booking us minilab, really appreciate it. Also thank u for being in "fast respond" mode everytime I text u asking for school notes and kisi2:)

Raples: Has anyone ever told u, u got eminem blood runs in u??? Also keep that "i dont give a sh*t" mode: ON always lmao

Tamtam: my housemate oy let's go on a coachella some time???? Or head in the clouds, maybe?

Fatin: don't let ur anxiety brings u down. U got skill and please do love ur self. Im wishing u the best!

Nisa: thank u for letting me know other side of u haha also I like it when u talk for hours without stopping like there's just green light on the street till my ears drop dead listening to ur story. Also u got a good voice bro, should apply for idol 2021.

Fira: DON'T LET UR MOOD SWING DRIVES U CRAZY. Take a stand and let it go~

Difta: my holy suhu in time management! How the hell u manage to do all those stuff and still got a 3.9 GPA???!!!! Also good luck for the election!

Yahya: isn't lettering fun???? Watch ur wallet dont let those brushpens steal ur money.

Ihsan: go write a book and sell it! U got skill in making poem.

Putu: r u @valeyellow46??? cuz u drive like crazy in ponjay corner, go make it 60° wkwk

Al: good luck in everything you do bro. May Allah make it all easy!

Pana: shout out to this most kindhearted person on earth!!! Always be that pana yang kocak and let's hang out together, some time? I like ur room cuz it's all neat and clean #hivi for putting cleanness #1 

Ria: seriously you should tutor me how to behave super calm:(((( also I would like to learn some make up skill from u :)

Bintang: thank u for adoring my works and stopping by at my blog. Should give u a medal for keeping up with my nonsense writing lol. Also u super cool cuz u play games and really good at it. The only game I played was mario bross lol

Fina: NO KIDDING WHY U SO CUTE LIKE A BABY????? also u got skill in design and dunia per-ppt an. wow u really cool. And oh one question, where's Peeta Mellark?:>

Olin: Timussss u got friends mus dont worry. We got ur back!

Rahel: I like ur straighforward-ness and the way u beat barok in an argument! Keep being u, u unique and rare. 

Amel: if u do a cooking demo please send me some wkwk thanks for being a good friend and taking care of us all. I hope u only joy and happiness 

Neta: I hope u be a policy maker and please let ind*maret open its store in ur hometown wkw I was once visiting padang and dissapointed cuz there's no ind*maret there:(

Asa: let go of anything that hold u back, don't panic cuz it just urself telling u lies. U can do anything u want.

Exsa: the most calm human being in class, i wonder how u manage to stay chill all the time. Also please share some tips on getting straight As in class:(((

Lupi: I like ur optimism in getting kizi-kizi and soal the day before exam lol. Also good luck for the election bro!

I know some of you still can't move on and the memories we had spent together sometimes still hold u back. Pengennya sih bareng-bareng terus but life must go on, isn't it? We have no choice but moving on:) cheers, relax, and let go. Everything is gonna be okay. It sounds clichè but yea welcome to reality:)
2021 GRADUATE BARENG YA! *Please do send me bouquet and chocolates*

I may not a good friend and will never be. Im sorry:( also Im wishing u only luck, bless, and happiness. Cheers!!!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

Love,

Febria Ero

That dusky October Night

There's this space that i can't occupy, 

maybe I can but I just don't want to, I guess. 

I hestitant but I almost do. 

Later I remind myself to wait till the end of October.
Everything seems do not work out, 

I quit, I take a step back, 

get my self a space that I need. 

I remember not to get carried away, 

I promise I will take a stand. 

It's not too late, I presume. No it is not.

Let there be the space between you and me. 

Let the wind blow it away. 

Let the dream of that October night dance with me. 

I want to see the ocean tides from above the hill. 

I'd climb the peak of that cliff, 

seeing all the beauty of the blue ocean.

Sing me a song of melancholic rythm.

The day of november 1st has come, 

I hope you good with yourself. 

Wishing a heavy rainfall to greet me 

and washing me with joy. 

Stand by my side for I need you, 

hold my hands so tight, do not let go of me. 

I hope you ever listen to me 

or maybe just look at me in the eyes. 

I carry so much love within me, 

maybe I forgot to give some to myself. 

Fly me to the moon 

and remind me to go back home. 

Teach me how to breath on space, 

for I know I can't. 

Tell me stories about me, 

send me letters of your messy handwriting.
Draw me potrait of cities
with different point of view,
so I could see the the truth beneath.
That's my wish.

Desclaimer: the idea of writing this kinda romance poem is just out of nowhere haha anyway Im wishing u a joyful November, may ur day always full of love and accompanied by ur loved ones:) cheers!