Here it is... last day of 2017, means that tomorrow is another new year, about few minutes left until this year gone. Things change, wound heal, people move. Time to start over, new resolutions, new goals, new plans, and whatever. This year has been a rough one for me:) but thank God this rough patch has made me grow up even maturer. Regardless my bunch of failures, I still have hope, dream, and I am grateful for everything that happened to me. I kinda had lost (typical nowadays-teenage hngg) since some of my dream didn't turn to reality (one of them is go to Mars as a NASA astronaut). kidding. Well #notsojk. I always wanted to be an astronaut every now and then. But gotta be a lil bit more realistic:) I suck at numbers. Can't even count on myself. I used to obsessed with math and stuff well that's when I was a kid, back then on my elementary school. I even joined a math olympiad in town and um science olympiad too *laughintears #whathappentome?

Im 18 now, well not so long till I turn 19 tbh and there's still so many things I wanna do (and more books to read. Absolutely.)

Rality sucks yet we have to deal with it. Embrace it. 

I've learned so many things that I couldn't get in highschool desk, one of 'em is about real life. Not only theory. (Should've written a book "Step how to face reality nicely without have to feel lost or whatever") Voila we couldn't resist reality. End of the story. Not helping at all. Im not helping my self #whatamiwriting?! Well guys I should've lost my mind by writing this #anothernonsense post. Sorry for ruining your new year eve. You might regret after read those writing above. 

MOST OF ALL I JUST WANNA SAY ALHAMDULILLAH. 

Bye. And. Anyway. Happy new year. May our bucket list turn into reality, pls!

P.S. don't swim into dunya's pool too deep. It's a trap. Always remember hereafter:) #selfreminder

P.S. 2.0 wrote this post just bc its new year eve and Idk what else I should do. Im laying on my bed and do nothing (im eating bread on my bed tbh). So I just write without any means except to fill my boredom. Ok. And I wanna go abroad the International space station and watch the sun rises within the horizon, be with Mr. Tingle, Mr. Kanai, and Mr. Shkaplerov who'll spend their next 5 month there. Working for the good of human-kind.

Hug for the world

About what's happening, indeed the world does need help. Climate change, war, poverty, and many more problems that the world's facing. Im afraid if things will go worse, human shouldn't have hate each other, we should love and protect more. Everyone probably knew what happened (well it's still happening rn) after Trump's declaration of Jerusalem as Israeli's capital city that really hurts palestinians and trigger conflict and rejection not only from palestinians but also people around the globe. I send my best hope and pray to those who's affected from this tragic situation, especially for my palestinian muslim brothers and sisters. May Allah always protect and  save you. 

People started looking for allies to build their power and do whatever they want to make sure they get what they want, even if they should kill or attack innocent people. Does it really necessary? I don't think so. We, people really are shall love, care, protect, and help each other. 

Compassion is our greatest weapon as a human being, we should carry it within ourselves everytime. I do believe that's our own nature as a human being.  People only need allies when there is something to be allied against. So why don't we just support each other? Stop hating, attacking, fighting, killing. Start loving, caring, helping, and hugging instead. This world is too good, it has always given us anything we need, food, water, soil, air. Everything is well served. We just need to be grateful enough. As a feedback, I do think the world doesn't want something else rather than peace and our protection. It's our duty to make sure that the world is safe to inhabit. That's home. Our home.

Self reflection: find your own anchor

A friend of mine asked me to share my story of my kinda get-rid-of-phone days. So here is my story: I started my my kinda no-phone-day on December 10th till December 13th. I needed to clear my mind  after everything that happened to me. Yep 4 days without wifi, internet, socmed, ig, ect ect. Air plane mode all day long. I still did check on my phone, set alarm, open dictionary, some time take a look on my phone's gallery, looking over funny pics on it (since most of them are memes) and memories I've captured. I loved taking pics, decorating my room, arranging my book shelf, making polarid photos and put it on my wall room.

I felt not okay lately, grief and scared mostly. So I decided to left my phone behind. I spent the whole 4 days watched movies, tv shows, cried over my fav fictional character (most of them are dead), invested in fictional characters live's, sobbed over my OTP love story, read books, study some time, did some workout (Well, you guys should know I wanna build up my phisical strength too). I also wrote and painted. Awoke all night and philosophizing before bed (which is my talent). And sorry not sorry:p I didn't text my friends about my decision of my no-phone-day, anyway. I assume they probably get worried why I didn't reply, even read their messages (chill guys xD).

I wanna get relax, enjoy my time, and get some fresh air. for me it wasn't a  big deal at all, my kinda no-phone-day. Well, there are some reasons about my decision to disappear and get rid of social medias for a while. 

First: the fact that socmed made me ungrateful enough upon blessing that God has given to me. I started highlighting over things that I didn't have instead of being grateful of things and blesses that I already get. I compared everything of my self to others, underestimate my own self, and forgot about simple little things that could make me happy. I know, I shouldn't have compared my self to others. I do realize we are all human with our own different power, strength, and flaw, even weakness. The worst part of socmed (espc ig, well I might used it unwisely:>), for me is the fact that other people seem have a perfect life, while me, my self is the one who hasn't a perfect life. Then after I spent my 4 days without phone, I realize life is perfectly imperfect, nobody has a perfect life. Sometimes life's unfair and sucks but life always worth to fight for. 

The next reason is socmed and stuff waste my time "I'll just check some updates on insta for a sec." I said to myself. And guess what??? Yes, I end up spend hours. Then obviously I couldn't sort out my priorities. Being a slave of socmed.

After I finished my kinda no-phone-day which is only 4 days, now I feel more fresh, more grateful, happier, more organized, ect ect. I feel much better in so many ways and feel more me rn. Alhamdulillah. 

For anyone who wish to decrease the burden on your shoulder. It might worth to try: stay away of social medias for a while, enjoy your time, be more grateful, and stop comparing yourself to others (Im not lecturing guys, just saying:)) 

Well of course, different traits have different ways to handle things and what works for me might not work for you. Good luck!

Hey, it's me, Rocket.

I woke up earlier that day. First day of spring break. I was on my way running and jogging around. I opened the door and I stepped on something, kind of paper(?) I was not sure. I picked up that thing, a letter, apparently. Someone has put in under my dorm door. I have no idea who's that from. I took it, my hands shaking. I stepped back, brought it on to my desk.  A letter sealed neatly with no name on the envelope and no receiver name on it. I started open the letter slowly, so I wont disturb my roomate, my best friend, who's still asleep. I began read the letter which clearly from Mr/Mrs/Ms Anonymous and delivered for me(?) Well I wasnt really read the letter. At first I saw rocket, aurora borealis, celestial, and other astronomy-ish words. The handwriting wasn't so good to be honest yet still neat and read-able(?) This might a random letter about astronomy phenomenon, I thought, since few days ago was a solar eclipse, which was amazing. Here is what the letter says:

"Hey Venus! It's me, Rocket. How are you? Hope you are good. Wonder if I might scared you bc of this odd letter. I just wanna say thank you, for all your support you've given to me. Well, not only me I guess, since you are very kind, nice, and generous to all earthlingers:) it's a pleasure to meet you, a beautiful young woman just like aurora borealis, a rare one with only goodness inside. Im off tomorrow, to my dream place, on my way chasing my greatest desire. Become the first human being to stay in next door planet for awhile, it's not so far away, we're still on the same galaxy, don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Everything's gonna be alright, I promise. I'll send you how's earth actually looks alike from here, must be beautiful. I'll always watch you anyway, just look above you, I'll be right there, on your south side sky from your dorm window. I'll be there, above the sky, well on the same sky:) ...be good, Venus. I'll be back soon and I hope to see you on earth. 

-Rocket-"

My cheeks wet, right after I finished read the letter. He said he's my rocket. I couldn't speak. His words was so sincere. I felt like something hit my chest. I barely breath. All I could say is good bye Rocket, Im gonna be okay, don't worry about me. I hope to see you here. I whispered. I sobbed. I wiped my tears with my hands shaking. Worried I couldn't see him again. But I do believe we will meet again, he has made his promise.

See you, Rocket.