Friday, 21 April 2017

How if anything doesn't exist

I asked my self how does the universe start to exist and what the first of all events was. Onxe I realized that time is just one dimension of many. My understanding of time is that one thing happens after another. Physics tells that time and cause are just purely concept of our minds. We happen to live in a universe with physical law that alloww conciousness to exist and travel along the dimensional "line". We are just seing one moment after the other. In fact, the history of our universe is just exist, it goes infinitely into the future and past. There would no first or last, it is actually like written in a book athat has never be written. We are reading it but how you read it or where you start depend on who is reading it. There laid many mystery tales among the sky and the star that seem have no ending. 
And so, the real question is not why anything exists. But how if anything doesn't exist.  

P.s. Im in love with the mystery about the universe, yet sometimes Im afraid of the night sky:/

Monday, 3 April 2017

A letter

Dear Hermione

When you read this letter, I hope you won't hexed or crucio me. Umm i can't say much, but for merlin's sake i think you'd better know one thing before  we at least leave hogwarts after the war and find our own way.

I love you, granger.

Although i've broke your feelin for many times due to my dumb assness to call u a mudblood and any else worse thing. I love you, granger. I never admit it to anyone else even my self, i had been denying it for years. I was wondering about my feeling these years about you honestly. I kept asking my self do I really love you or I just randomly think about you. Then I tell my mother about it, eventually. Of course she didn't approve but all she want is me to be happy, so my mother told me to write you a letter just in case to say sorry after all i've done. I hope you would accept my appologize though i know you wouldn't that easy.

Now, you dont need to be worry about me, im okay if i have none who would stand beside me. We might could be a friend (did i just propose you to be my friend? Damn, but apparently yes. Would u granger?) Well okay, never mind, i just out of my line. Besides, i know you already have weasel and saint potter. You deserve them, they're all good meanwhile me, i just a villain and brainless. Anyway i hope best for u and weasel.

Just hoping that one day i could be as lucky as weasel... to find someone who will love me no matter who I am. Yet Im afraid of losing but i know im a coward  and i deserve nothing. After what my family and I have done in the war, i  realize i even don't deserve to live. To be honest granger, i never ever want to stay in the dark side but i just had no choice. My father kept forcing me to be the dumb dark lord's servant. Once I was thinking to defect into your side but apparently im a coward, i had no bravery in my hell blood. I promise to my self that if one day i have kids i'll raise them in peace and love so that there wouldn't any other savage malfoy who insult muggle born witch. And it would be nice if you're the mother of my kids. Oh what the  hell granger, did i just say about future? 

I know granger, this letter would mean nothing for you. 

Stay well, granger. Im praying to salazar for your best., one more thing -im happy about you and weasel. And I do really mean it. 

Sincerely yours,

Pointless Post

I read some dramione fanfics these days and i think im obsessed. its been one of my fav otp #perksofbeingmultifandom. I actually have lot of things to do about my school stuff, well yea national exam ahead, its less than a week but i still treat my self like exam wouldn't come lmao. I was reading my biology literature when suddenly sleepyness hit my brain hardly. I laid on my bed then, for my sleepy's sake. But apparently my brain couldn't sleep. Bcs u know, the draco malfoy keep spinning on my head lollll. I'v often lost some of my ideas to write due to my inadequate ability to wrap neatly a story or writing, so i just desperately let them running out my brain without write them down. Suddenly i felt like someone hit me on the face with dramione ideas, so here we go. Im gonna write them down.  Though, it wasn't an epic one fanfic but it would be my very first fanfiction i ever made. Gonna slay fanfic world lmao. Well, not really. Im sorry if my writing wasn't as good as JK Rowling but i do hope you guys will enjoy it. Check them out on my next post!

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Dazzle and the rain

Its dazzle all night
A light rain soaked into quiet thought
Every eerie feeling suddenly faded
As the dazzle washed away tears
The bustling is now quiet
And an awareness of the universe
Keep dropping dazzle continually
Make every life live
Make every thought wandering
Trigger every emotional responses
Rebuilt graceful and joy
And find peace during the dazzle
The earth seems enjoy the raindrop
There's a quiet beauty found in the rain
The world blurred for a while but its fine
It would be a fine dazzle as always

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Stuff Im not good at

Well, since I felt sick about school and stuff and was wondering about my future life. Im going to write down something Im not good at [it might bcs I never tried with them or do some serious practice]. Basically I do believe there's nothing impossible, but Im enough in music stuff. Im totally have no ability in music especially in vocal. except singing in bathroom while I took shower (its been my best skill I ever known). When I was in middle school my dad teach me to play guitar, and I enjoyed it alot. But then school made me tired and I was desperately left my guitar lesson with my dad. Surely I enjoyed music alot and also I loved when people playing music or do something about music stuff. It is like music could express what people felt in a great way and simply made people alive. People would always say music exist to speak the words they can't express. And music had been a great influence to all people.
My problem through music is I desperately couldn't help my self to understand what the tone are sound. I could never dealt with the tone. Ok, I don't have good voice in singing... and I felt miserable about my voice while Im singing. Sometimes Im jealous with my friends who are master in music and they're just l7ook 100000% cooler when they show up their ability in music. Meanwhile me, i just sit there and feeling pathetic about my ability-_-

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything." -Plato

Though I can't sing well, I really love with people who speak their mind through music. They speak in a classy way, and the lyrics were deep meaning I thought. for the people who very fond of music especially the song writer, who write down their deep thought through musical lyric. I fully apreciate it. Often I think that the lyrics are also a poem, they were so poetic. Although Im not good in music stuff, I would like to learn music if I had any chance.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

A short acquainted

In the delightful evening she got the train, her eyes gazing around, staring into people. She like the way people are people with their unique personality. She took a sit and play on the music from her phone as she put on her head phone. She enjoyed solitude she made herself and open her book instead. That girl loved books so much, she would spend her whole day just to read and read. Knowledge made her free as well, feed her brain as she gathered into books. With a book she was regardless of time. She was just an ordinary girl but she let her thought dream whatever it want. She said, dream kept her alive.
Those girl didn't realize there's a guy staring at her, in the train, everyday. The guy felt impressed with the girl. He like the way she put on her headphone, the way she opened her book, the way she looked stylish, he  liked her sharp dark brown eyes the most [his was blue].  He would always think about the girl he met on the train whenever he get  home and open his book. He clearly remember how beautiful she was, she would look more beautiful when she simply open her book. He really enjoyed staring at the girl along his way. He was so admired  on her. Once, he thought to make a short acquainted with the girl, but he wasn't that easy to start a word, beside that was a girl. Therefore he couldn't make an acquainted with stranger he met on the train. Ridiculous.
Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant smart girls in my life as I have this evening. He thought. He brace his self to make a talk as he just realize that the girl was reading his favourite book. It couldn't help him to standing still. "Sorry, umm did u read that book?" He asked hasitantly.
"Hah?" The girl shocked, she currently enjoy her solitude as she gave more attention into the words of her book.
"I love that book you're reading. Im sorry, well umm I just asking." His face getting red.
"Yeah, sorry umm Im a bit shocked." She said as she put off her headphone onto her lap.
"How can u hear me, with the headphone on?" He tried to  calm  his self.
"*chuckle* haha I didn't play on the music, I just yea put on my headphone without play the music. Umm u know, the crowded was..... a  bit freak me out. Well, not really."  She felt embarrassed. "Oh ok, I know. So, do u like that book you  read?" He asked as he take a sit beside the girl.
"Yea, I do. Its my friend recommendation but already on my book to read list, before they asked me." She said in low tone.
" so, I think it is almost everyday we got the same train." He said.
"We are? But I think I never saw you." She said curiously.
"Oh? Well, I like took a sit in the corner, next to the window. I liked the view. Umm anyway, Im Andrea, and you are?" He lock his eyes right into the girl's.
"Im Venus, just call me Ve." She felt blushy.
"So, Ve? How do u think about that book? Its been my favourite all along." "I love this book so much, it has a really great influence, and so inspiring me." The girl regarded the guy with cold eyes.
"Indeed, I felt amazed with the author too.
Anyway, Im gonna stop the next one station. So, uum...can I..can I get ur phone number?" He looked uncertain and shy. "A what? Um, sure." She write down her phone number into the guy's phone, and named it with Ve. "I gotta go, um I'll text u later, we might talk more about that book. See ya!" He step out to the edge of the train and fade into crowded.

Monday, 6 March 2017


She liked the smell of the rain
She enjoyed solitude she made herself
She liked the smell of the books
She could spend her whole day just to read
Wondering about thought behind her thought
She couldn't stop to think
She is just a girl  but with the head full of dreams
Dream kept her alive but also make her small yet free as well
She has her own world inside her head
Her mind was deep and complex
She's not like an ordinary world
She couldn't live an ordinary life
Dream kept her soul shine, she thought
And so do I